Pippin and Merry Visit the Fortuneteller
by BelbaNellas
Summary: When Pippin up and decides that it's a good day to do so, what ridiculous happenings will he and Merry undergo after having their fortunes predicted? Contains randomness! You have been warned!


**A/N: I couldn't help writing this entire thing one night…ideas just kept popping into my head, one after the other.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any of its characters.**

**But I do own this story. Bwahaha.**

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One serene Autumn day in the Shire, Pippin woke up with an itch. But not just any ordinary itch. It was an itch that compelled him to do something completely out of the ordinary, something that he hadn't done for a really long while…

…and that was to scratch his head, because it itched tremendously. He hadn't done that in a while.

But there was one other thing he woke up with, something somewhat more to the point. It was a desire that fueled him to go visit Merry that day to do something that was a complete waste of time. Many ideas went racing in and out of his head. At first, he thought it would be nice to have a leaf party. They'd…throw leaves around and such. Nah. Too messy. Then he thought of rolling off the cliff near Farmer Maggot's residence. At first this seemed to be a pretty good idea. After all, what complications could that possibly cause for him and Merry? But after about an hour of deep personal debate on the matter, he decided not to go along with the idea. They would probably…_hurt _themselves.

After a while of such interesting but futile ideas, Pippin believed that he had the perfect idea.

He and Merry would go to visit the Wise Fortuneteller! Because it would be a complete waste of time! And it would be fun! Yay!

After sloppily dressing himself, unnecessarily quickly and with much excitement, Pippin skipped his way to the front door of his hobbit-hole.

But wait! He had forgotten something!

He needed to drink some tea!

Scrambling back into his kitchen, so quickly in fact that he ended up slipping and falling right on his face, Pippin filled a teacup full of…tea…and then took it out the door with him, drinking it merrily on his way to Merry's house (pun intended).

After a little while, Pippin finally finished drinking his tea, so he tossed the cup over his shoulder. It landed on some guy's head.

And then, land ho! He had reached Merry's hobbit-hole.

Pippin knocked firmly on the round door. It was opened, and Merry peeked out.

"Oh, hullo, Pip! What brings you here this lovely morning?" he said with a gesture to the outside, emphasizing its loveliness.

"Well actually, Merry, I just had a grand idea! You see, I have an urge today to do something utterly pointless. And through tossing around many things of that sort, I thought that you and I could go visit the Wise Fortuneteller! As a plus, I've heard that it's Free Weekend! They don't charge you a penny! What do you say?"

"Ah, well, hm, well I do say, ah, sure, alright. But I need a drink of tea first. Would you care for some yourself?"

"Just had some, actually!" said Pippin, very matter-of-factly, "but hey, another cup couldn't kill me. Sure, why not?"

So Merry served him and Pippin a cup of tea. Once more, they ended up walking out the door with their tea, this time on the way to the Fortuneteller himself. They were skipping, causing the tea to splatter on their clothing. But they didn't care. After all, brown tea stains were in season. Once they were finished drinking, they tossed the teacups over their shoulders. The sounds of shattered glass and a crazed cat meow ensued.

After a mile or so of skipping, they finally came upon the property of the Wise Fortuneteller. It had a long stone path with good tilled earth all around. In the center was a rather small structure that was his building. Merry and Pippin were giddy at the sight. They ran up and walked right through the door.

Inside, there was a man dressed all in black, a head scarf covering most of his face.

"Welcome, have a seat!" he said to the two hobbits, gesturing towards two chairs on one side of the table.

Merry and Pippin sat down obediently. No, actually, they just sat down. The man had a seat on the other side. He took out a crystal ball and placed it in the center of the small round table.

"You!" he said, pointing at Merry. Merry jumped. "What is your name?"

"O-Oh. Well, uh, my name is Merry…Merry Brandybuck."

"Hmm…Merry Brandybuck…" the Fortuneteller looked up towards the ceiling in wonder.

"What? What are you seeing?" asked Merry.

"Oh nothing, I just thought that was an interesting name. ANYWAY, I'll carry on." He placed his hands over the crystal ball and looked into it. "In your near future…I see…a hobo…a hobo lying on the side of the road will steal your shoes—"

"Wait…but I'm a hobbit! I don't wear _shoes!_" said Merry, crossing his arms like a child.

"SILENCE!"

Merry and Pippin jumped.

The Fortuneteller continued. "The hobo will steal your shoes…but he will get hurt…"

Merry and Pippin exchanged confused glances.

"..and that's it."

"That's _it?_ You don't have anything more…_useful _to tell me?"

"Nope. So _you_ there," (Pippin jumped), "What is _your _name?"

"Peregrin Took, sir."

"Ah, I see…"

"What do you mean? Do you mean "I see" as in you understand that that is my name, or do you mean that you are seeing something?"

"If you shut up, you might find out!"

"GASP!"

"Hehe."

"…"

"All right, in your future I see that there will be lots of…chocolate…"

Pippin waited.

"Yep. That's all."

"Oh, skippity-dippers! I love chocolate."

"Wow," said Merry, "so this is it? No wonder it's free." He paused. "Hey, who are you, anyway? You seem strangely familiar." Merry swiped off the Fortuneteller's head scarf, and they all saw…

"ARAGORN?!"

"Aren't you, like, King of Rohan or something?"

"Shouldn't you be on your throne right this second?"

"Where's Arwen? Is she here, too?"

"Did you run away?"

"Did she try to kill you or something?"

"NO!" said Aragorn, "I'm King of GONDOR, you fool! No, she did not try to kill me! I just wanted a break! I needed a holiday! Oh, I blew it! I thought you'd never find out!" he let out a very long sigh of exasperation. No, I'm not even kidding. It lasted at least five minutes.

"Well, okay then, bye!"

"Bye!"

So Merry and Pippin left in a jolly mood. As Merry skipped along with Pippin, he noticed a pair of boots randomly lying in the dirt. What a pair of boots would be doing in the _Shire_, he had no clue. He picked them up.

"Hm. I guess these are mine." He said, then continued walking with Pippin.

A wagon rolled by, pulled by two ponies.

Pippin walked after it cautiously. He read the label on two big metal containers in the back: CHOCOLATE, it said. Oh, and Pippin loved chocolate. He just wanted a closer look at the containers, because for some reason, knowing that they contained chocolate drew him to them…somehow.

THEN THEY EXPLODED!

Right in Pippin's face, and actually all over him. He was doused, in the strongest possible use of the word. But he was incredibly happy, because it tasted like Hershey's.

"Hooray!" he said, then skipped off back to Merry (there's an awful lot of skipping in this story, in case you haven't noticed. But you probably have.).

Minutes passed. Then all of a sudden as they continued to skip, Merry felt his shoes snatched from his hands by somebody. He gasped. He looked behind him.

It was Legolas! He was lying on the side of the road! And above all, HE WAS A HOBO!

"Legolas! You're a hobo!" cried Pippin, waving his arms around.

"Well, I got kicked out of Mirkwood! The elves there said I was too into myself! What else was I to dooooo?"

"You could have said they were overreacting!"

"…But still!"

"Give me my boots back!" said Merry, snatching them back. Then he paused. "Wait. I'm a hobbit. I don't even need these. Here, you can have them." He tossed them towards Legolas. They hit him square on the nose, causing him to fall, causing him to roll off a cliff, causing him to explode, causing the natural gases in earth to reassemble the building blocks of Legolas's DNA, creating Legolas reborn!

"Oh, wow! I'm Legolas reborn!" he said, then ran off somewhere.

"Huh. That was quite a show." Commented Pippin.

"Yep. I'm tired. Let's go home."

"Okay."

So they skipped back home, without a care in Middle Earth. And Pippin had gotten all he had wanted out of the day.

Wasted time.

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**Hope you enjoyed! I'll give you a cookie if you review. (wink, wink)**


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